I like sitting in the park at night. Alone. Watching the people pass by, wondering about life and all the stuff that comes with it. Especially when I'm struggling with something. I often imagine how I look in the eyes of those strangers passing by. You know, you wouldn't expect seeing someone on a Friday or Saturday night sitting alone, occasionally writing something down at that late hour and looking like someone they cared about just died.

I always imagine it like a scene from a movie. A girl sitting alone, smoking cigarettes, the wind blowing her hair away while she's struggling to make a decision. My sister says that's pathetic. Or sad, I can't remember the exact word she used. But it doesn't really matter.

I'm trying to cure my sadness again. Habits are what I'm fighting with the most. They don't say it for nothing, that old habits die hard. And I have too many, too many bad ones. So, the question is where do I go from here? Back or forth? And how do I do it?